if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize