He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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