Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
