Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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