I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
