Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
