Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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