I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
