so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
