Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
