TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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