Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
