I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
