Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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