I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize