george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
