3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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