I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
