Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
