I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
