this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i think im in europe. pls send help
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
