God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
