I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
