hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
