Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
