My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
