All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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