I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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