I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
