What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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