Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
