I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
