Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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