He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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