I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just googled if crying burns calories
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
