I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
third nipple confirmed
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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