It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
