dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
