does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
