Me. At least after what I've been through.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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