and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
