He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
