you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
