i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
