so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
