Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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