we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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