Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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