So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
