I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
