I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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