one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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