Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You are the jesus of drinking
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
