I need help removing her.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
