When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
