i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
