Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
