You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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