Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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