I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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