Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
