i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
