I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
