She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
