They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
