We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
